I've been watching a show called The Great British Bake Off.
The voice over is full of sympathetic statements such as, "Janet's got a soggy bottom', "Rob's spilt his fondant" and "Mary-Anne's macaroons have burnt".
It seems like a very English programme but could work in most countries. It's a bit of a phenomenon as all ages and both sexes are tuning in, week after week, for whatever reason.
I've even got S watching it with me and not under duress but enthusiastically commenting and watching to see what each contestant will bake next.
I, like a lot of it's viewers, have caught the baking bug, which is not good as I have simultaneously lost the exercise bug - temporarily. I have made a giant light sponge cake and fairy cakes which the kids decorated. I then made gorgeous Bakewell tarts and a giant un-iced Bakewell sponge cake. They were all delicious.
Today I attempted a lemon drizzle cake.
I promise you all that I pressed the cake and it sprung back. Then, just to be safe, I stuck a knife in it and it came out dry, so I took the cake out of the oven, let it cool for a very short while, then poured over the juice of two lemons mixed with icing sugar. It was just after I'd done this that S came in from the pub and sneered as I heaved the heavy lump from baking tray to plate.
Now, I have been ferociously hormonal today. And I mean, FEROCIOUS. Team this with stomach cramps and a tearful, run ragged, anxious disposition and the sneer was not well received.
It's fcuking sh!t being a woman sometimes. S is bloomin RUBBISH at dealing with the 'mentalness' of PMT. Other women are a bit sh!t at dealing with others mood swings too. Other women should be able to sense when their fellow females are struggling and should rally round offering hugs, space, conversation, silence, a helping hand and whatever conflicting necessities are deemed vital by the victim from one minute to the next. I do feel for S and the kids for when I am bad, I am awful but I wish S would get it into his head that it's not personal, malicious, premeditated. That any outbursts leave me racked with guilt and feelings of worthlessness. That when I go and spend 17 quid on pills and potions to make me feel normal, it probably means I don't like feeling like the ovulating ogre I've become.
On the other hand, it doesn't mean that you have an excuse to make sarcastic comments, throw scornful, bemused looks and be generally loud & patronising for the entirety of RED WEEK. Just because I'm on the blob, does not mean that you are right and I am 'not making any sense'. I am in pain and you are obviously just being a tit.
And so, back to my baking....I took Marzipan Biscuits out of the oven about 25 minutes ago and they have been cooling on the side whilst I've been typing this. S, who does not have a sweet tooth at all and hates marzipan, came in, got OTT enthusiastic about my 'fantastic biscuits', snapped one in half, (didn't comment when the marzipan fell out in a caramelised lump) and chomped away, giving me the inane, awkward and nervous looking thumbs up.
Hmmmmn.
oh bless you Deb. I suffer too.
ReplyDeleteLike me, you seem to try and get through the mentalness and impulsive moodswings by trying to be like a mother hen! It must be the hormones! I have been doing lighterlife for 3 weeks. Not eating. drinking copious amounts of water (actually enough water to keep a small african village for a week per day) and just drinking milkshakes and one bar per day.....this is all very well, difficult but copeable...then last week, I got my monthly and boy did it knock me for six! I spent the whole of the day leading up to it crying, wailing, screaming at everyone and then took my my bed racked with guilt because I had eaten a spoonful of stew! I mean, come the feck on!!!
The following day, I got up at 5am, prepared the stew for that evening, walked the dogs, fed the cats, made everyone else sandwiches for work/college...showered then went to work for one of the worst days ever.
Got home from work, started making home made dumplings and fairy cakes...! the fact that they were more like biscuits did not phase me while i scissored out the middles and filled with glorious butter icing that I couldnt eat myself! I stripped all the beds, washed the covers,put new covers on, served the stew to a very luke warm reaction....Had a further fit and took to my bed again.
By the way I threw the cakes/bisuits out today - I think they had a wee bit of mould on them :(.
What a mental case?! I am not looking forward to next month. I am thinking about going away next month to give the family a break!!!
Chin up, old girl... only about another 15 years of the periods! (oh.... sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeT!!!!!!!)
SPhillips05 - Awww whore-moans are sh!t.
ReplyDeleteWhy have you been starving yourself? That's a definite way to ravage the end of your already frayed tether! The water helps and hats off to you for walking dogs, feeding cats, making lunches and dinners etc etc keeping yourself busy is one way of tricking your mad head into not slipping into depressive bouts of tears and self loathing. I couldn't concerntrate on tying my own shoe laces, let alone house work! I dropped stuff, flitted between chores and ranted and loathed for two solid days. I'm ok now...ish. What the flick is it we suddenly have spinning round our blood stream to set us off into lunacy? There must be a cure?! x x x