Lady HaHa

I just watched Lady Gaga on The Graham Norton Show on Youtube.  Not the singing bit, the interview. She was sitting next to Gwyneth Paltrow and an English actor & an Irish comedian.

I really didn't like her when she first came out. I remember thinking, "oh change the record love! it's all been done before", whilst watching the Just Dance video.  I felt a bit sad that women have to be like that to get on.

Now though, whilst watching her chatting away in her 'wedding dress' I just thought, "Aww she's really sweet and she's really doing what she wants to do".  She was quite funny too.  As was Gwyneth.  Two ladies, both doing exactly what they want to do for a living and neither one had a wrinkle.

They were both very, very slim too.

Imagine that, having loads of money and doing what you want for a living. 

I'd have an editing suite and a massive dressing up box, with wigs and clothes and I'd learn how to do proper make up where you can make yourself a huge nose and close set boss eyes, or a hunch back and a thin crooked smile. 

I'd make parodies of loads of songs.  I've wanted to do a spoof 'Hello' by Lionel Richie for ages but I can't edit and would laugh too much to do it in a series of long takes.

I used to work for a video production company and I learnt a bit of basic editing at college.

I have a tape of me and my friend that we sent to a small handfull of production companies, acting out comedy sketches that we'd written, starred in and edited, (we had use of the Avid editing suite at work).  We got a call from Victoria Pile at Talkback productions and went in to see her.  Twice. 
It was just before Green Wing and Little Britain came out and they were coming up with ideas for the Smack The Pony Christmas show.  Nothing came out of our visits.  Although some stuff we saw afterwards on telly showed hints of our ideas.  Maybe just a coincidence eh?

I'd love to have the money to be able to not have to go to other people to ask if they thought what I found funny was funny enough.  I'd have my own channel.

I would have a home like Alex James' from Blur.  His home was on MTV Cribs once.  It's just exquisite. 

I'd learn a few languages.  Chinese, Spanish and French.

I'd learn how to roller skate.

I'd learn to make wine and beer and I'd go fishing for massive fish.

I'd go to regular Pilates classes.  I'd learn to box.

I'd have laser hair removal and an eye lift and tummy tuck.  I'd also have micro dermabrasion and regular but light botox.  I'd go and get my hair done properly, all the time.

I'd get my parents a lovely home.  I'd get my family lovely homes and holidays.

I'd buy a couple of boxer dogs and some ex battery chickens. I'd build those chickens the best, most exciting and comfortable coop/mansion.

I'd learn to drive manuals!!! I can only 'drive' automatic.

I'd do yoga. I'd paint - I'd take an art class and do it properly.  I'd put my kids in really good schools, not boarding though.

I'd bloody love to be loaded.

I am that bit older now that when I look at people who I didn't like at first, I now think, "Good on you! You are one of the lucky few; doing what you want to do and not having to tow the line and shut yourself up".