Ramalamadingdong

When was the last time you completely lost it?

When was the last time someone annoyed you so much that you could stand no more and just went Oriental? 

Not just a few cross words but a proper ding dong?

Maybe your storm is brewing now, after suffering a myriad of constant but minor irritants that have been circling you for a few days/weeks/months?

Maybe you are teetering on the very edge of reason and rationale, about to take that leap into FURIOUS ANGER & BUBBLING HOT WRATH!

I bicker a lot with S.  Just the boring mundane bickering about me not cooking enough, or leaving the washing up til the morning, or not being vocally appreciative enough when being handed S's culinary delights. 

And I'll bicker with him about being a RETARD and putting a dark wash on, with a couple of white items thrown in, coz, "i didn't see them", or putting a clean damp towel on the floor after a shower, or putting the kids dirty, food covered clothes neatly back in the drawers so that when we're in a hurry to go out somewhere, they have NO CLEAN CLOTHES LEFT!

People at work irritate me sometimes but I love them really. I know I irritate them too. An example was just a couple of days ago.  L was visibly put out at the fact that I had worn a black, jersey, harem pant suit & Birkenstocks, with a 'grandad cardigan' to work.  She felt it wasn't appropriate work wear. I, on the other hand, felt I could easily answer the phones in what I had on, particularly because the majority of the people I'd be conversing with probably still had their Primark PJ's on at 2pm.  Nevertheless, my casual, unprofessional-looking presence had irritated her.  She gets me back though by saying 'physically' all the time, when it's not needed in a sentence.

Sometimes certain people just have to walk a certain way to irritate the masses, (and I'm the first to admit my walk is ridiculous, due to one leg being longer than the other and having a pot belly,big boobs and an arched spine) - or cough repeatedly, for effect I believe!! Or put on a sick voice.  OR and this could drive me mental....put an S on the end of words that don't have a feckin S....like, 'Hello Switchboardssssss'?  Or insist on using the word specifically, when they can't pronounce it.... PACIFIC IS AN OCEAN, YOU DIV!

When you've just come in from being outside and it's cold and your hands are freezing, you don't need to stick that frozen hand on my warm face to shock me into understanding the difference in temperature, MUM!

If I am buying something from your shop and I am standing in front of you at the till and waiting to pay, don't scan my item, whilst having a conversation on the mobile which is propped on your shoulder, then stick your hand out without looking at me, or informing me how much I owe you.  Actually, now here's a fun idea, it's what my 2 year old does when she's playing 'shops'; You could have your conversation when you have no customers in the shop and maybe even say words like, "Good morning", or "How can I help you"?....or even, "Thank you"! Funny eh?

Aside from day to day bickering, or piddly little non-arguments, when was the last time you seriously lost it.

You start realising that the human being in front of you is effecting your inner thermostat and your cheeks get hot....maybe your eyes feel cold and bulging?!  Before you can stop yourself, you have shouted something.  Maybe a whole shouty sentence has left your mouth before your brain has had time to catch up and it does, just in time to hear it's owner scream, "YOU FCUKING PR*CKFCUK"! Or some other swear word/s. 

I find the angrier I am, the odder the profanity.  "YOU FLAILING COCK-END" being one that I don't use in daily banter but that often warrants an airing when I'm driving somewhere and the car in front feels they just can't be bothered going anymore than 20mph on a straight, clear road. 

My Dad's friend Pete found that traffic wardens made him explode with rage.  They are a normal irritant to most people, even though I suppose they sometimes do have a job to do, BUT, the traffic wardens would be putting tickets on other peoples cars, not Pete's.  Even still, he felt he had to make a stand for Joe Public and I actually heard him bellow the words, "YOU SYPHILIS EPILEPTICS"!

We refuse to watch Eastenders but caught 10 minutes or so on Comic Relief, of a recent story line about Whitney's scumbag boyfriend trying to lead her into a life of prostitution. This enraged S so much that I thought he was going to cry.  He swore and shouted and finally sat at the computer and typed angrily until all his 'rage was on the page' (hahah).

When you have lost the plot, mid rant, maybe you had an out of body experience where you felt you were looking down on yourself screaming, and possibly felt embarrassed but still could not stop.  Maybe a little bit of spit even left your angry, contorted mouth.  Maybe the rational side of your brain was running neck & neck with the emotional side, like a cerebral steeple chase and you'd be quietly going, "oh calm down, you loon, you sound like a proper scumbag - GROW UP"! But the 'loon' could not be talked down. The loon was off!

I wonder if as I get older, I will calm down.  I really have calmed a lot already as at 38 yrs old, I can keep a lid on it for the majority of the time and I have a lot more stupidity around me now, so I should really have more to shout about.

S and I are a passionate pair. We are loud whether we are laughing and singing, or telling each other why we are right and the other is wrong.  So, as a result, our spawn are loud.  CLEVER AND GOOD LOOKING naturally but loud ;)

I'd love to hear what ruffles your feathers.