For a start, the women in the adverts for them, don't need them, hence them giving a smooth silhouette and no vpl.
If a proper customer was shown in the adverts, the makers might have to rethink their design.
For starters, they roll down. If you get them too short, you get a figure of eight thing going on, like you have an elastic band round your waist. If you buy the higher ones, that come just below your bust, across your ribs, they do indeed, roll down.
You may look and feel great until you sit down and then, like bread rising in an oven, the belly starts to push upwards and all of a sudden, BANG!, the sheer weight of the blubber has burst over the top and with a quick spring of elastic, flopped onto your lap.
My other problem with the design of these 'magic knickers' is that they ain't bloody magic! What spell would anyone cast on themselves to make their evening all about visits to the loo to hoist up the chafing, sausage skin like under garment, so constricting yet useless?
They are revolting to look at and even more so when they're on but we continue to buy them with the hope that anything that ugly has to work bloody miracles, otherwise, why the fuque would they still be in business?
Yesterday, after deciding to take a pair of size 12 Trinny & Susannah 'wonder pants' back to exchange for a size 10 thong design, I found myself trying to heave on a pair in front of my kids in a changing room that was too small for my stomach, let alone the three of us as well. Anyway, I could see the expression on my sons face change to a grimace as I heaved and pulled the fat beige pants up and over. "Are they the pants you really want to buy Mummy"? he questioned, looking like he'd sucked a lemon. As I went to answer, my daughter SHOUTED from her push chair, "THEY NOT FIT YOU BUM FACE"!
It was a busy Saturday and there were definite sounds of sniggering from the other side of the curtain.
So, I got a refund as they annoyingly, hadn't any tummy controlling thongs. Just pants, so the bum fat would then become an issue instead!?
Irritatingly, I wobbled home with no control.
I am sticking to the healthy eating and exercise and am lighter than I have been in 4 years - 11st 6lb but I am trying to make a mole hill out of a mountain and this is not gonna happen in a couple of weeks, (which is when there is an event where I need to wear a figure hugging dress for the first time in 4 years), so I need a solution.
If anyone can help, I'm all ears.....and belly.
I'm not much help with the tummy thing but you made me laugh with this so I've prolly used up some calories in the process!!!!!! Lol!! :) hope life is ok with you!!!
ReplyDeleteGlad to have been of service Mrs C TMoon! ;)
ReplyDeleteAs Shirley Ghostman would say...'I feel your pain, I feel your shame, but you're not to blame'... (well maybe a little). How about a tummy trimmer body suit rather than the Bridget pants that roll down as soon as you breath? Poppers round the crutch can be tricky to do up after a few beverages I know, but by the time you get to that stage in the evening (normally about the second to last trip to the loo), the cab's already booked and you don't give a shite! M&S and TK Max do a good range that don't leave you with a VPL or make you feel like you're wearing your nan's underpants!
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny. Children are so honest aren't they?
ReplyDeleteThere is no way I would wear one of those pants (they do not even deserve the word panties). For those very reasons you have mentioned. How about a compression suit? A black one with a skirt and you will look very arty.
Can I just say that if you had tummy control thongs would it not possibly create a wedgie from Hell. All that tight elastic at the front holding things in would surely create a terrific pull on the rest of the garment.
Anonymous - Shirley Ghostman wears control pants, she has to.
ReplyDeleteLinda - I purchased a cheap (£6.00 inc postage) control thong.... i tried it on and at the moment, I seems OK... I will report back sfter the dreaded event.