Fat Joe

Fat Joe's New Look

I can't think of any subject I can fully embrace this evening.  I don't want to put a half arsed post on here like a mother serving up a packet of custard creams for dinner, so I will just chat.

We had a BBQ yesterday, (Mothers Day).  The weather had been gloriously sunny and warm (t shirt weather us Brits call it) so we invited Marie & Dave and their kids round.  I then invited Ma & Pa (say that in a Nick Cotton voice) and as they were visiting anyway, my brother & his girlfriend and her three kids.

Sometimes it just works doesn't it? People weren't really drinking, I think we all had a spritzer but S guzzled can after can of Fosters, like he does.  And we ended up shouting over each other in the kitchen, huddled round YouTube and selecting songs for each other to listen to. All laughing and singing and taking the pee out of each others song choices.  At one point, after slating Galtee farmer by Steeleye Span, (my choice as it reminds me of skipping round the front room with Ma & Bro while Dad was out earning a crust), Marie suggested The land of Point by Nillson...we fell silent as we politely 'gave it a chance' and stared catatonically at the screen.  I think me and Bro were being 'sincere' and doing our best David Brent 'aww' faces, bro's GF and my Mum just gazed.  There eyes had gone out of focus but they were too polite to say OH FUCK OFF! So I did. We all laughed and mum wee'd a bit which always breaks the ice.

The kids were wrestling, playing football and eating cakes in the garden.

They all left arount 7.30 and we got the kids in bed and he watched some dodgy war film, whilst I watched the even dodgier The Only Way Is Essex.

Today at lunch time, I went on Facebook and chatted to fellow blogger linda & her twaddle.  T'was midday here and 9.12pm there.  She made me chuckle and it was nice havin a proper conversation with her without the loooooong delay you get when conversing via email and different time zones.  Good to hear shemanaged that crazy 108km walk for Oxfam too!

Soon after that, we lost the power and all the phones and computers went off. That meant no calls.  Which means I don't get screamed at.  Instead of answering calls, I ate sweets from the tuck shop.  This consists of three drawers within arms reach, packed with cheap crisps, chocolate and sweets.  I opted for a tiny packet of fizzy cola bottles and young 'nephew' Joe stood chatting to me eating two packets.  I noticed he'd chucked his first empty packet on the floor and scolded him saying, "err you tramp, pick your rubbish up you pikey"... as he bent down to pick up the offending bag, still grasping his second packet, his trendy skinny grey trousers ripped from ballsack to knee cap!
HOW WE LAUGHED!  He made myself and Pup walk him to his car, one in front & one behind.  S rang and I relayed the story to him and asked him to think of a good new nickname for Joe.  He creatively offered Fat Joe, Joe Fat, or fat fatty fat fats.  All I think will be used regularly.  In his defence, Fat Joe did take it all on the chins hahaha

I attempted to have a relaxing bath and read Bastard Husband - a love story by Linda Lou but the kids wouldn't GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEP! So I had a cranky bath instead and I am now relaxing, typing to you lot.  I am going to read Linda's blog and then switch off.

I have struck a deal with S that I will collect the kids more often and attempt to cook more, if he doesn't drink during the week.  We'll see who cracks first!

I am soooooooo tired.  I hope you all have a lovely evening and sweet dreams;)

And that's it.  That was my day.